Kathleen Cruz Alier

KATHLEEN CRUZ ALIER

HOW TO DO THE WORK OF GRIEF

HOW TO DO THE WORK OF GRIEF

Life does goes on even when you don’t want to get out bed.
Saying stuck in sad emotions and confusion is harmful to your health.
Doing the work required can be done one task a day, as your energy returns or with some
help. It will surprise you how good you will feel when you get something done. These four
items will move you forward from grief to peace. Its your time frame. Let no one rush you.
1-Pressing needs: legal and financial papers that need review- social security benefits,
bank account status, funeral or “will” status. It’s good to have a trusted relative or friend
review these papers so you understand what decisions you are making.
2-It may be good to move your loved ones clothing and personal possessions out of sight
into a separate room or storage for later decisions. This usually can decrease bouts of tears
and relieve the pressure of decision making to later months. This is often difficult to do.
3-Treat yourself to some redecorating by rotating sofa pillows or wall pictures. You could
also buy some new towels or a bedspread to make your environment more “personally
yours”.
Shopping can be therapy at this time as it is “normal” and often fun and creative.
4-Plan a memorial shelf for your loved one: picture frames, trophies, nicknacks to honor their
presence in your family’s life. This is positive action allowing you to smile at happy times.
All these decisions and actions will make you feel better – more confident and norma

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